“Stop being such a drama queen.” Ciara O’Rourke shares how she’s faced stigma for having chronic migraine at work and in her personal life.

I’ve lived with migraine for more than twenty years. During that time, I worked many jobs and met many people. Some understand and accept how my condition can affect my working day, while others don't. 

I say these others "don't understand," but sometimes it's more because they don't want to understand. It's easy for someone to say, "It's just a headache!" or "Everyone gets headaches, stop overreacting." 

People don't want to hear about how migraine impacts my life. They don't want to hear that headaches are only one of many symptoms of migraine attacks. 

It's much easier to label it as a headache and me as a drama queen, or worse, lazy and not wanting to work! Sadly, others have accused me of those things many times over my lifetime.

Migraine stigma is a pressing problem

I'd be lying if I said I could let harsh words slide off me. They don't. They stick, and they hurt. I’ve always been passionate about my job. I work hard not to let migraines impact my work whenever physically possible —I pride myself on it.

So, hearing nasty comments wipes me out. And it's even harder to accept that I'm not the only one experiencing this. 

I’ve had some bad experiences with how people treat me at work due to chronic migraine. One job was so awful that I had to leave. (There were several reasons, but the lack of understanding about my illness was a key one). 

I suffer from chronic daily headaches along with migraine. So, I have a headache most days, but I tend to get on with work. Full-blown migraine attacks, however, happen approximately two to four times a month. On those days, I can be unfit to work. 

But they're not always out of the blue. My migraine attacks connect to my hormonal cycle, so I roughly know when to expect the worst.

I had asked my employer to schedule my days off around them so I could avoid calling in sick. It wasn't enough. 

Stigma led to my label as a "drama queen" at work

My bosses and colleagues deemed me a "drama queen" and "always sick." I remember being quite scared to approach my manager as she always said, "Oh, here comes Ciara with another headache."

She would make my colleagues think I wasn't a team player or unwilling to do the work. I ended up leaving because I couldn't handle the constant stigma, reluctance to understand my condition, and - frankly - all the bullying.

Feeling like I had to leave was very difficult and took me a long time to get over. I think it's essential that people with migraine continue to live their lives to the fullest. So, I felt especially defeated after this particular blow. 

I'm lucky that I could find another post in a new place. My new manager and colleagues understand and accept my condition, and I finally have a work environment that allows me to thrive.

Don't get me wrong – it took time to get here, and it wasn't always easy. I spent a lot of time educating my colleagues and manager about migraines and their impact on my life. Luckily, I have great co-workers who saw first-hand what I was like during an attack and how I couldn't function. 

It's helpful that I have another colleague who lives with migraine, as we tend to buddy up and support each other when needed. That level of understanding is so important.

The importance of raising awareness of migraine and other invisible illnesses

Much of the migraine stigma around today is still based on the old information describing migraine as "a bad headache" and not much more. Thankfully, things are improving -more migraine information online tries to dispel this myth.

I could hardly find any information when doctors first diagnosed me 20 years ago. I struggled to understand my own condition! I felt alone and like I was alone in experiencing migraine's complex symptoms. 

That's why I'm delighted things like Migraine and Headache Awareness Month exist. Awareness months or weeks shine a light on the condition and its many complications. Charities and associations work hard to ensure that information, advice, and support are available for those with or without migraine. Indeed, information is available for anyone wanting to know more about this complex condition.

Living with migraine is hard enough; it's awful to think that a societal lack of understanding adds to the burden. 

Actively listening to people with migraine would be a good start

I hope that if more people speak out about migraine, society will finally understand that it's more than "just a headache." 

My symptoms include headache, fatigue, nausea, and sensitivity to light and noise. Sometimes, a migraine attack can last up to two days, and I can't get out of bed until it's over. 

Migraine and migraine stigma affect my professional, personal, and family life. I know many other symptoms affect people's lives in countless ways, so let's educate as many people as possible on the many faces of migraine.

Hopefully, this will encourage more compassion for those living with this condition.

The information presented is solely for educational purposes, not as specific advice for the evaluation, management, or treatment of any condition.

The individual(s) who have written and created the content and whose images appear in this article have been paid by Teva Pharmaceuticals for their contributions. This content represents the opinions of the contributor and does not necessarily reflect those of Teva Pharmaceuticals. Similarly, Teva Pharmaceuticals does not review, control, influence, or endorse any content related to the contributor's websites or social media networks. This content is intended for informational and educational purposes and should not be considered medical advice or recommendations. Consult a qualified medical professional for diagnosis and before beginning or changing any treatment regimen.

NPS-ALL-NP-01224 MARCH 2024